Terry.
A five letter arrangement making up the perfect name for a perfect mom.
And yet, the way he always said your name, as though you were unworthy of having any name at all, was what never went unnoticed.
Living with Dad, a man who placed no value on you at all Momma, or so his treatment of you conveyed, was a tough and messy dichotomy. On the one hand, he always told me and sister that we HAD to grow to be strong and bold women. That we must not ever allow ANY man to dominate us. Yet, there he was dominating and abusing you. Of course you know that already. But what you might not know is that while it lit a drive inside me to protect you and to ensure that one day you figured out your irreplaceable worth and power, it also made me question whether I really deserved those things too.
The day you confided in me and sister that you were leaving our dad, that you’d be filing a restraining order and that all four of us kids would have to hide at a family friend’s house until his anger of these things hopefully moved through him, was the day I saw a look in your eyes that I’d never seen before. I’d seen many looks in your big green eyes Momma, but this was one I’d never seen in yours before.
It was the look of power.
I recognized it because I always saw it in Dad’s eyes.
But now it was your turn. Finally, your turn.
Electricity had moved through me Momma after hearing you say that you were leaving him. A jolt of power and pride in you doing something that moved you closer to knowing your own power and worth.
In the years that followed, the nasty divorce that lasted four years threatened to take the look of power from your eyes over and over again. But somehow, you always found that power and worth again deep inside yourself. And one day Momma, I noticed that when he said your name the way he always did that you no longer responded the way you always did.
Life is different now, isn’t it Momma? You’ve claimed your power and worth in love, business, relationships, and every other way possible. And I want you to know how much it means to me that you worked so hard to see your worth and claim your power. How much of a difference it’s made in my life. You see these days Momma, it’s not only your name that I say with power and kindness and love. It’s mine too. And that's because when you were working hard for respect and worthiness you were teaching me to do the same thing for myself.
I can think of no greater gift from a Momma to her daughter than that. May you always know how loved you are. May you always see how worthy you are. May you rest in the knowledge that your power is now my power.
With all my heart and adoration,
Mellissa